The Girl Child

My sister is expecting! You wouldn’t know it though-even with her preggo belly, she’s still about half my size. It’s slightly awkward telling people “she’s pregnant” when I show them her picture, because I feel as though I’m insulting their intelligence...but really, on her, you can’t tell!! So, come mid-October, or somewhere thereabouts, my parent’s first grandchild should grace us with his presence. I cannot wait to meet “Peanut,” as he is affectionately referred to for the time being. Yes, Peanut is a boy...



[One of his earlier ultrasounds!]

When I share the news of my sister's pregnancy with folks back home, I can usually expect to hear the question: “Is she having a boy or girl?” Parents-to-be can elect to know the sex of their unborn child ahead of time in the U.S. Some prefer to be surprised, but others would like to choose a name, prepare a nursery, or begin a wardrobe deemed gender-appropriate (whatever that may mean).

Here, however, that is not the case. To be more accurate, that is simply not an option. Parents are not allowed to know the sex of their child before it is born; there are laws against it. Labs performing ultrasound scans, for example, are forbidden to reveal any details as to the sex of a fetus. The reason behind such a law is rather sobering.

Female infanticide is a problem of epic proportions, especially in this state. Despite the laws that are currently in place, bribes are still paid to lab technicians. In cases where abortions due to pre-determination are not possible, midwives may be paid to provide “female deselection” services (where the baby’s spine is snapped after birth), or female babies are blatantly murdered in infancy, through neglect, poisoning, or other torturous abuse.

Economic, cultural, and religious factors have resulted in a son being valued over a daughter. In many communities, a bride’s family is expected to provide a dowry* to the groom’s family, leading to a great economic burden for her parents. Extremely poor families may sell their daughters to local temples as Devadasi, or "brides to the gods" (which essentially means they will be used by the temple priests as a means to make money through prostitution...a fate any girls born to the Devadasi are doomed to share) to avoid the debt of paying her dowry later in life. Another blow to the parents of girls is that the bride leaves her family, along with her dowry, and joins her husband’s. As a result, his parents are guaranteed caretakers later in life, while the bride’s parents are not. His parents gain capable hands, which can help with the household chores. Her parents are down a labourer. The familial line passes through the male, where a man is known as “the son of so-and-so” and the female is either “the daughter of so-and-so” (her father) or “the wife of so-and-so.” In the Hindu religion, certain rites (such as the lighting of his parents’ funeral pyre) can only be performed by a son, again making a boy child preferred over a girl. In some cases, women have reported seeing their lives as so invaluable, that they see killing a baby girl as doing the child a favour. If the girl child survives infancy, she may still be at risk of abandonment. Orphanages in the region are overflowing with young girls. A friend here is starting a non-profit to raise awareness about female infanticide, and to raise funds for the few local organizations that are already trying to combat the issue. It is a disturbing phenomenon, and a sad, sad reality.

Recently, I read an article in the paper here about a village in a northern state, where there is a shortage of brides; so the men have built a road to ease the travel of women from other villages into their own. Now, I don’t really know the cause of this “shortage” of women, but I certainly have a guess...there are frightening statistics highlighting the overall imbalance between genders country-wide.

Watch out, Peanut! I may be bringing a girl cousin home for you...make that five girl cousins...okay, not really. Well, maybe....

*There are also laws banning the giving of/expectation of dowry, but in many rural, very traditional communities, the practice continues. Female infanticide and Devadasi are just two of the many issues that stem from the giving of a dowry. Another is when a groom’s family demands more from the bride’s family. The bride will often suffer beatings, burnings, and other forms of torture until her family is able to meet those demands...

The pictures below are of some girls in a nearby village, where we recently held a medical "camp" (a day of free medical services)-it was my second since arriving last October. I just can't fathom the idea that these darlings could be viewed as worthless by some...